Alone
by Karu Leonnese
Summary: Now I can surely walk on and on forever" [all ikkou pairings eventually]
1. Burdens

Alone

Chapter One: Burdens

Beginning Notes: Welcome to possibly the longest songficceh I've ever seen. The rundown is as followed. Each pairing has a line (and sometimes a picceh from the song for a good mental image) from the song to beh used. Every pairing from the ikkou will beh here, so beh patient for your favourite, although I hope you read them all [winks]. Each one also has a dedication, either someone who introduced meh to a couple or supports/inspires meh in a couple. Cuz I'm a whore for you all [grins].

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Alone c/r: Sumiyo Mutsumi/ab:fly/Mikuni Shimokawa

Saiyuki c/r: Kazuya Minekura

Chappeh Notes: Sorry there's so many notes in this chappeh. [sweatdrops] Umm...the pairing for this one wasn't in the song, but I decided to put this one and the next one in too. Author's prerogative. [sticks tongue out] This chappeh is 38, and dedicated to Karot, for her lovely triangles. Cuz it's always fun to see a jealous Gojyo [peace sign].

And now, finally, on with the ficceh!

--All people coming and going carry heavy burdens--

Rain fell steadily on the tent canvas. Another cloudy day had exploded into rainfall in the night hours. At this rate, Sanzo mused, he might never sleep again. Or maybe it was time to consider becoming nocturnal.

It had been going for about a week now. It was cloudy all day, but waited until nightfall to actually rain. This pattern made it difficult to sleep, especially for the pair whom rain made uneasy.

Hakkai was dealing with this problem as well, though it was slightly easier for him to fall asleep after some time. The emotions running through him wore him out, while Sanzo, who suppressed emotions outside as well as in, found it nearly impossible to sleep for more than a few hours.

None of them were asleep yet, however. Sunset was only an hour or so past, and camp had just been pitched. Under the canvas shelter, Hakkai was stirring dinner, a glazed faraway look in his eyes. Goku and Gojyo, finally tired of watching rain fall or playing cards every night, were splashing around outside the shelter, stomping puddles at each other and having a round of name calling.

Sanzo sat under the canvas, watching the others with mild interest. He took a long drag of his cigarette, crossing his arms against his chest. The night was cool here, and the rain made it cooler.

"I can't tell if it's cold because of the weather or because of the rain," Hakkai said suddenly, showing his talent for knowing exactly what his companions were thinking.

"The rain -is- the weather," he replied, knowing very well what the brunette meant, but deciding to be difficult.

The youkai's eyes, which hadn't lost their faraway look even as he spoke, now focused on the blond. "Bad night ahead. Have you been sleeping?"

Sanzo closed his eyes, inhaling the calming scent of cigarette smoke. "You of all people should know the answer to that question."

He began to dish out the food. "Yes, I suppose I do. I'm just trying to make conversation."

"Well, do me a favour and don't."

He sighed, and then nodded. Leaving the shelter, he went to fetch Gojyo and Goku.

As predicted, the storm continued heavily through the night. The lightning and thunder, a factor present the past few nights, was absent tonight. The monkey and the kappa slept soundly because of this, agitating Sanzo all the more.

Hakkai was lying down as well, but he wasn't sleeping. It was easier to get through the night when Gojyo or Goku were awake. Then at least he had something to focus on besides his own thoughts. He looked over at the last member of their party. Sanzo sat with his back to Hakkai, facing the clearing in the trees.

"Do you think tomorrow night will be clear?" Hakkai asked, getting up.

Sanzo jumped a bit, surprised by the interruption of silence. "Don't do that."

Hakkai sat down beside the monk, wrapping his blanket around himself. "My apologies."

Sanzo took out a cigarette and lit it before speaking again. "If it doesn't clear up soon, we're going to have to do this by night."

"Or teach Goku how to drive," Hakkai smiled the tiniest bit.

"I'd rather you fall asleep at the wheel," Sanzo's face didn't show it, but his voice was lined with humour.

Hakkai yawned. "Be careful what you wish for."

"If you drive us off the road, I'll kill you."

"How paradoxal," he wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders, "I try to go to sleep but I can't stop thinking. So I'm trying to think of anything else to say."

Sanzo looked straight ahead. "A diversion."

The brunette nodded. "But unfortunately our main diversions are deep asleep."

He shrugged. "So wake 'em up."

"That wouldn't be right. It's not their problem," he drew his knees up to his chest, "Besides, then they wouldn't get up tomorrow."

Sanzo sighed. "It's hard enough to wake them up when they sleep well."

"All the more reason to leave them be."

"Then why'd you bring it up?"

It was Hakkai's turn to sigh. "A diversion."

Sanzo looked over at the two sleeping forms. "It pisses me off."

"What?" Hakkai followed his gaze, "The fact that they're sleeping?"

"They are and I'm not," he leaned back, resting on his elbows, "It's like they don't have anything to worry about. Nothing holding them down. I can't help but get angry at them for it."

Hakkai was silent for a moment, surprised at the amount the normally stoic monk was sharing with him. He had to choose his words carefully. "It's not true though."

"Hmm?"

"You know it's not true. Both of them have had a lot of grief in their past, and a lot more to look forward to. But they've figured out something we haven't."

Sanzo was beginning to think the lack of sleep was taking its toll on his friend. "And what might that be?"

"They don't let these things bother them as much as we do," he continued without a beat.

"If this is going to turn into one of those 'life is wonderful and every day is worth living' speeches, save it. I've heard enough bullshit today."

Hakkai didn't say anything.

"I'm not looking for some way to forget all this and be cured. If that was gonna happen, I think a decade or two would've done it for me. All I need is something to get me through the night."

The youkai lay down next to him. "I suppose that's one way to go about it. Treat every time as the only one."

"Would you quit trying to put logic to it?" Sanzo squashed out his spent cigarette.

"It's what I do," he replied sadly.

The blond rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

After a few moments of silence, Hakkai propped himself up slightly. He looked at Sanzo with an unreadable look on his face.

Sanzo looked up at him. "What?"

Hakkai exhaled a breath, and then leaned down again, kissing the thoroughly shocked monk.

Sanzo sat up quickly. "What the hell was that?"

The brunette was silent for awhile, gathering his thoughts. Then he threw his blanket over the two of them and lay down.

"Getting through the night."

Without even realizing it, Sanzo forgot all about the rain...at least for the night.

--Now I can surely walk on and on forever--

A/N: Well? What do ya think for my first ever 38? I know it's short and probably heavy cliché, but it's a start! [swirly eyes] I hope these get better... Comments please!!


	2. Mirage

Alone

Chapter Two: Mirage

A/N: Hmm...apparently I got mixed reactions to the first chappeh. ::grins:: 'Sokay. Not everyone likes everything. That's why I'm doing this, to test out all the pair theories. Tho it's a -lot- harder than I thought it'd beh...

This one wasn't in the song either, but it's the respective couple for the last one. It's 59, and dedicated to my cousin Chi (FF.N name hellfan). This is her main pairing, so this one's for you Chi-chan! ::thumbs up::

Oh, and just for further reference, I don't think any of these are connected to each other. Each chappeh is a seperate one-shot, unless otherwise noted.

---

--Find tomorrow within the mirage wavering in the distance--

This was bad. Gojyo shook his head, attempting to get the sand out of his hair, with little avail. He turned to the others, who were just starting to get up. The redhead glared, crossing his arms.

"I -told- you it was a bad idea to camp in the desert," he snapped at Sanzo, who calmly brushed sand off his robes.

"I did second that motion," Hakkai said, pushing on the tent canopy. A waterfall of sand fell from the top, cascading to the considerably higher ground.

In Sanzo's defense, there was really no other option. The next town couldn't be reached for at least a day, and Hakuryuu wasn't going to last much longer without rest. Eventhough it was risky, the monk had decided to camp out in the desert. Apparently, that risk had presented itself, for they all awoke covered in sand.

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do about it?" Sanzo glared at the irate kappa, "Just dig everything out and we'll move on. It's just sand. I can't help it if you sleep with your big mouth open and ate some."

"You wanna go?!" he clenched his fists, stepping closer to the monk. Hakkai stepped in between the two, interrupting the battle.

"I believe Goku is missing."

Subject successfully changed, the three inspected their surroundings. Sure enough, the monkey was nowhere to be found. After becoming quite sure that he wasn't just buried in the tent, or wandering around close by, the remaining ikkou began to worry. Hakkai was questioning Hakuryuu if he'd seen the boy get up last night. Sanzo was chain smoking. It was the only way the others had learned to tell of his gnawing emotions. Worry, doubt, fear. All his insecurities blown out with constant cigarette smoke.

Gojyo had been smoking as well, though after a few minutes he smashed the thing out. Something about this situation bothered him. Sure, Goku did stupid shit all the time, but this type of random disappearance wasn't like him at all.

Finally Hakkai turned to them, Hakuryuu flying from his shoulder. "I sent Hakuryuu out to look around. He should find Goku if he's gotten lost out here."

The redhead crossed his arms. "So we're just supposed to wait here?"

"There's really nothing we can do right now."

"Bullshit," he snapped. He regretted it immediately. He wasn't mad at Hakkai. He didn't know -who- he was mad at. He stood up. "I'm going to look too."

Hakkai moved to stop him. "Gojyo, please..."

Sanzo held out a hand in front of the brunette. Looking at Gojyo, a flash of something appeared in his eyes, then was gone. "If the dragon gets back before you do, we're leaving your ass. Got it?"

"Loud and clear," he grinned dryly, walking off.

---

An hour later, Gojyo was severely regretting his decision. Not that he didn't want to find Goku. In that he was resolute. But the ends don't always justify the means, especially if you didn't live long enough to reach the ends. In both his haste and his love for a dramatic exit, he'd neglected some important things. Water, shade, etc. Not one of his better ideas, that was for sure.

Exahusted and dehydrated, he fell to his knees in the sand, which clouded around him. He didn't know what he'd expected. He didn't think Goku would be very far away. The heat was almost unbearable, and the sun's rays were merciless. For some reason, it gave way to thought.

He should go back. He wouldn't do anyone any good as a sun-dried corpse. What was the big deal about it anyway? Why was he worrying so much? Goku had proven time and time again that he could take care of himself. So why did the littel monkey matter so much?

His vision blurred for a moment and his head spun. This was it. Heat stroke. He was going to be out in a few minutes, in the middle of fucking nowhere. Then they'd look for him as well? Maybe Hakuryuu would find his body. Maybe they wouldn't find him. No one would, and he'd melt away into bleached bones like in all the westerns.

Fuck, what a stupid way to die.

He looked up, refusing to just give in. He felt dizzy. It was going to come, whether he liked it or not. He fell forward, landing on his chest. Something moved in the corner of his eye. Was it cyotes? Some desert animal come to watch his death and gain a meal?

That was even worse.

He squinted, trying to see clearly in his current state. As it was, the heat made the air waver, rendering it impossible to see straight, muddled or not, although he didn't register this. But he recognized the figure moving slowly toward him.

So his mind had the coustesy to give him a mirage to end it with. Seeing Goku one last time before the heat consumed him.

It was a hell of a lot better than cyotes.

He smiled, the humourless twitching of the lips one only has when confronted with their own demise. He watched the Goku-mirage step steadily closer to where he lie.And suddenly he knew why he was out here. Unfortunately it would be his last thought. With that, his eyes closed, his mind floating into unconsiousness.

---

Gojyo woke up to someone poking his cheek. He opened one eye slowly to see Goku leaning over him. He groaned. "Fuckin' mirages..."

"Who're you calling a mirage, stupis kappa?" Goku shot back, grinning.

Mirages don't talk, do they? "Goku?"

"Duh! Who else is it gonna be?" he put his hands on his hips, "I'd expect this kinda thing from me, but not from you!"

Gojyo sat up slowly, his head still buzzing a little. He was back at camp. A fire was going beside them, cooking dinner. "What happened?"

The boy sat down beside him. "I got lost last night. I found you face-first in a pile of sand. Luckily Hakuryuu found us both. Are you okay?"

The redhead nodded. Goku sighed with relief. "That's good. I was afraid you'd died!" he handed Gojyo a cup of water, "Drink all of this, okay?"

The half-breed did as instructed, gulping down the contents quickly. It didn't do much, but it helped. "Thanks."

He turned to face the boy, surprised to find his golden eyes serious. "Hakkai said you went looking for me..."

"Yeah," Gojyo became serious as well, something he didn't do often with the brunette boy, "I was worried about you."

He smiled slightly. "Really?"

Gojyo grinned, bopping his friend on the head lightly. "Yeah, so don't ever do that again, you hear me?"

Goku laughed, rubbing his head absently. "Sure thing." He yawned, leaning a bit to one side.

Gojyo grabbed his shoulder before he could fall over. "Damn saru, you should be asleep!"

"Hey..." he replied half-asleep already, "'M not a saru. And I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?

Goku frowned a bit, which looked more like a comical pout in his current state. "I was worried about you, you dumb kappa. Why'd you have to go out and almost get yourself killed?"

Gojyo grinned, mocking the boy's words. "I was worried about -you-, you dumb monkey."

The brunette yawned again, leaning this time on Gojyo's arm. "...Huh. Well, if we're both gonna do stupid things because we're worried about each other, then the other one's gotta be there to save their ass, okay?"

The kappa laughed, rustling the boy's hair a bit. "That might be the smartest thing you've said in awhile, saru."

Gojyo didn't get an answer, even a complaint, from the boy. With a little effort, he moved his head down to look at Goku's face. He had fallen asleep. The half-breed smiled, shifting a bit to get more comfortable.

"Agreed."

--Now I can surely walk on and on forever--

---

A/N: Urgh, that took entirely too long... ::sighs:: Well, I hope ya like this better than the first one. At least you've got the other ones to look forward too. ::remembers the other two she's gotta do before 58:: ...Ah crap! ::falls over::

KawaiiLilMarron: I can -see- 38, but not for too long. They're too much alike to stay together for the long run, I think. Gojyo and 'Kai are differnt enough to match, y'know? And I'm holding you to the -anything else- part! ::winks::


End file.
